By Mrs Eva Cant, Languages Coordinator
The world seems to on many occasions focus on the harm and negative effects of mental health on society, especially our young. Much is said statistically; cold clinical studies are made; and at times headline grabbing news items are reported carelessly and thoughtlessly. Yet, has anyone truly listened? Have many asked those experiencing mental health issues, for a true and sincere insight into their world? Do many of us even truly understand, or grasp the full picture against the backdrop of growing stigma and increasingly scaremongering media coverage that blurs our reasoning and shuts our eyes? In a world that often seems to favour shock value over real value, one hopes the following will provide a welcome respite and a more dignified connection with mental health issues and those who speak about it so strongly and eloquently.
As a seasoned teacher, I have witnessed the changes in our society through the eyes of our students. As the years have progressed, so have mental health issues. The once unmentionable or shunned subject is now commonplace and discussed in our classrooms as students feel more in need of someone to talk to; a kind ear or a simple cry for help. I have watched this tough yet thin thread gather momentum, with a mixture of compassion and growing fascination.
The youth are perhaps the most honest and clear talkers amongst us. They still carry the no nonsense truths within them, and can thus communicate emotions in the direct and evocative manner that only a child can. Their realities and perceptions are still fresh, and therefore more open to us and enlightening. I therefore have felt privileged and in turn educated by what my students share and confide with me so easily. Their ability to ‘open up’ is refreshing for one more used to the confines and barriers set up by the so called restraints of fitting into adulthood. The youths’ calls and cries are clear and thankfully uncompromised by the rigid protocols and cover ups we at times set to our emotions as adults.
Talking, expressing, and writing…all these modes of communication are heralded as great therapy. A problem shared, a mind changed; a prejudice conquered… With these thoughts in mind, I presented my classes with a challenge, or as I would rather see it, an outlet and exciting learning curve.
The Gibraltar College’s English Department launched a mental health awareness week with workshops and discussions focused on this enormous topic. The effects and resulting work was both profound, overwhelming and tear inducing. Many students found an added medium to voice their concerns, perceptions and deepest rooted emotions, regarding this at times, stigmatised subject and state of being. Other students, through fictional works and compassionate insights, interpreted mental health issues surrounding our society in an empathetic and extremely incisive manner. Simply walking and writing in ‘other’s shoes’ can truly enlighten and help conquer stigma, something many of the Gibraltar College students admirably and tenderly achieved... For if we cannot even attempt to relate, half the battle is so sadly lost.
Poetry, short thoughts and stories poured out of the classes like tears that needed crying. As their teacher, I watched in wonder as students emoted so naturally and powerfully onto paper, in mediums they had previously dismissed as unattainable to them. I offered them my own poetry as guidance, for many had never dared attempt verse. Initial reactions of shock and horror at being faced with this style of literary writing melted away, thus revealing to them a free flowing form of expression that could unleash so much of what they had stored. The potential and raw writing that was exposed moved me and shocked me…I was, and am, the proudest teacher! Their work was an inspiration to me that continues to motivate me to this day in every class I encounter.
Embedding mental health into literacy, or literacy into mental health, now seems more natural than ever, and a definite process all teachers should try to instigate in their classrooms. Our classrooms are filled with needs, wants, worries, and hang ups that demand a positive, poetic outlet. This simple approach and opening of new doors for expression and new formats for writing, has empowered, and will continue to do so.
The process was started months ago, yet the creative poems and writings continue flowing. Not only have they expressed, they have learnt and empowered themselves, both by sharing of themselves, and by conquering fears and misconceptions of the written they had previously harboured.
So let us embrace and encourage our youth with open eyes, arms and hearts. Yes, mental health is a growing concern, but from the depths of worry and anxiety, great beauty and strength of character can arise and fly, just like a phoenix. I feel truly blessed and humbled by my students, and dare you, the reader not to be moved by the artistry, flair and guts of our youth. They have called out to you, please listen wisely.
Garden of Thoughts - Digital Copy
Just Because I'm Different
I am one of those whom you call 'the freak' in school.
I didn't dress like all the other kids.
I was picked on, hurt and humiliated.
You called me 'Gay, faggot, Freak!'
I asked teachers for help,
But they just carried on...
I dropped out of school,
But they just carried on online.
People laugh at me in the streets,
Needed, religious parents disowned me.
Why? For being gay!
Kicked out and homeless,
Constant suicidal thoughts in my head,
Am I better off Dead?
- Amy Pisani
Feeling High Above the Ground
I'm depressed and feeling pressured
My father sorries for himself
My mother worries for her looks
Family disappears with whispers of the wind
Need them? No one can count on them!
Feeling in the clouds is the only feeling left
I turn left, right, I only see clowns
The feeling has now faded
I'm back to reality
Hurt, harm, down, up
What else can I feel?
- Melissa Dos Santos
Trapped
Why did God make me this way?
I ask myself everyday.
Slowly it gets increasingly worse.
What did I do to deserve this curse?
I feel like an alien in this society.
Oh why, oh why does no one like me?
I fight the voices in my head,
Who constantly remind me, I'm better off dead.
Sometimes, I feel like ending it all,
But it's almost as if I'm scared of the fall.
So I continue in misery and pain,
To be looked down on, again and again.
- Brandon Borge
Low Times
When I was in that horrible school,
I was picked on and treated like trash.
People judged me for my image...
How could that be right?
I was called names like four eyes and blind boy,
This made me so unhappy and depressed.
So my mood decreased and I didn't bother going back...
How can someone withstand so much pain?
I spent depressed time and life in my room,
Playing video games and consuming my sadness away.
Countless, endless sleepless nights...
But why, just because they thought I was different?
- Steven Gordon
End of Days
As I walk through the plain, pathetic town,
I watch the colours of life begin to fade.
Everything around me was nothing...
I was nothing!
It feels as if the whole world is bleak, black and grey.
Time stops, the wind howls...
I am all alone...
No one should ever feel alone...
No one should ever be alone...
- Aiden Garcia
Secret Confessions
Hurt, too proud to say that I am,
One more day at the hands of that man.
Each day he shows me his might,
Each night I cry out of spite.
Forced to get used to the pain,
All my efforts were in vain.
I continuously cry and shout,
But there is simply no way out.
I don't discart suicide,
There is no one by my side.
I just can't take no more,
I don't want to be his whore.
- Vanda Szilagyi
Pressure
As my strong heart beats a little too fast,
I could tell my awful anxiety is aggressively hitting back.
As I sadly worry in my peaceful room,
I can feel my dreaded depression is fading in.
While my pure heart is beating low,
My great friends are successfully dancing away.
I annoyingly see my school results everyday,
But there is nothing I am able to change.
I wish I could repeat my exams again,
So I too could simply dance away.
- Aaron Carrasco
Live Your Life!
Smile just smile, and forget everything that confuses you,
Don't listen to the voices in your head.
Live your life like a free bird,
Don't let your problems show on your beautiful face.
Cover everything with your smile,
The saving smile that hides the pains of heart and soul.
Learn from yesterday,
Live for today.
Hope for tomorrow,
Be who you are!
- Zainab Anakkar
I Am Different (abridged)
I've been bullied since the day I was born!
I've had ups and downs since the day I was born...
I've luckily made some great friends along the way.
I lost my nan in 2015, and my birth dad said, "Has that cow died yet?"
I lvoe sailing, it does me good,
I miss my friends when I am sailing though.
I think life is complicated, life is difficult but...
I am a ginger legend and survivor!
- Logan Usher
I
I am not alone, but lonely.
I am alive, but not living.
I am smiling, but no one knows I'm broken.
My heart was beating slow,
Feeling nothing but pain.
The loneliness killing me slowly,
But no one noticed!
- Brandon Borge
Positive or Negative
I used to be over the moon,
It is people's fault to leave one down on the ground
Happy, playful, sociable...
That has now gone down the drain!
Now the only awareness,
Is barely keeping head high.
It's easy for people to say, 'BE POSITIVE!'
Can I only be negative?
Life sometimes doesn't give reasons for that,
Just like bats head to the ground...
Always in the dark...
No light, no windows
Just the way I am...
- Melissa Dos Santos
I...
I smile, but I'm not really happy.
I ask but I don't want to know.
I talk but I'm not saying anything.
I laugh but I don't find it funny.
I cry but I don't really mean anything.
I get up but I'm not really awake.
I sleep but I'm not resting.
I'm alive but I'm not really living.
- Zainab Anakkar
Drowning in Darkness
She is the essence of complete silence,
She is the one no one understands.
She is strange, but fun in her own mind,
She is shy with the utmost simplicity.
But there's a hitch to her silence,
She cries at night whilst darkness consumes her.
She bought her death from a hardware shop,
To help her hover high above the ground...
There, her short life would be complete!
She cried and cried as she tied herself up,
She jumped her last jump into the abyss of her darkness...
- Kyra Gonzalez
Sectioned
These cold four walls,
With cushioned walls to bury my falls.
I scream and I shout,
Begging them to let me out.
Then along comes a blank stranger,
Who reminds me that I am a social danger.
His cold words make me frustrated,
I lash at the door in hatred/
Suddenly, I am engulfed by staff, pinning me down.
I feel the needle going in, as my body enters shutdown.
- Brandon Borge
